The Costly choice

I’ve been doing a lot of re living, re discovery, re organization, re finding.

My last post was in February. I remember clearly because It was a month after I turned 25,  It comes to me because February was a very meaningful month to me, A month I made a decision, a very groundbreaking decision, to be HAPPY!.

This decision came with a price, I was selfish, I thought of myself only. I did not care whose clothes were dried by the sun or made wet by the rain. I created a world, a kingdom, for myself. In this Kingdom, I was KING.

What do Kings do?  or what do I think Kings do? They walk around with royalty. They make everything done in their direction, they made things fall into place according to their preference. It was not a problem that the people of the kingdom were hungry, the KING only has to be fed and plump.

I chose a platform, I picked a side of a coin without having to bet or gamble for it. There were two sides glaring at me and I went for the one that made sense, the one that might mean trampling on lots of grasses, that might mean a meltdown of  fully frozen Ice, that side that meant only one thing, Happiness for me!

It was a dream, a world of fantasy. Oh so their existed a life like that? Just choosing without rethinking? ?Just deciding without hindrances? Grabbing opportunities without weighing its outcomes? Only doing things for yourself alone? Hay this seemed like Uhuru for me, finally!

There came that steady voice of reasoning trying its best to push forth reasons I shouldn’t be this way, but who cares about a voice when the body and soul felt safe, all drenched in happiness. It was not just the best thing to do, it was the only thing, the only existing thing to do in this kingdom I called mine.

This selfishness also came with closing all holes. No, no one would ruin this. No one was allowed to. If you showed a line drawing towards that, you had to go. You had to be done away with, You were perceived as being negative and there was zero room  for negativity.




It went on for a long eternity seeming time, then it was Snatched.