2018: THE YEAR OF NEW BEGINNINGS

Last year, I told myself in January, that I’d put myself out there more and be all up in people’s faces about my business, career and everything I am about. I didn’t write goals or aspirations on any paper as would be the norm, I just created a mental note and promised myself I’d follow through by Allah’s help.

You know, I got married in December 2017 so the year started with me being… a wife.  As they say, one is never totally prepared for marriage but I was at peace because I knew it was something I really wanted to do and I was ready to wing it.  It was also beautiful that I had someone who was ready to support me in every way in my corner, so I knew the world was ready for me and I only needed to put in work to move my brand to the level I wanted. If I say I had a  cut out plan for doing this, I’d be lying to you. I just knew I was going to gain new grounds and explore new horizons in different ways, despite not having a well planned strategy (By the way, don’t be like me).

The Omotolaniee brand got registered without a hitch (When you have a lawyer for a husband, these things come through easy right ) and we were ready!

I put word out about what my brand would be doing  (Content creation, Social media management, Brand consultation and sales of clothes) and I started getting messages and well wishing reach outs.  People were ready to refer others to us and advertise the brand. All the more amazing right? I launched  a  Fashion collection in February  where I tried two pieces for the first time and people really came through for me, from the awesome ladies who modeled the clothes for free, to the photographer and everyone else, I  was so wowed. The sales moved fast and I was really excited about what was coming.

Still in February, I got my first Content creation job since the brand got official and I was really excited. A business owner was ready to take the leap with me by employing my services to help in being a part of a project and It went well, thankfully. I was doing many things at once and not getting overwhelmed while at it, I really don’t know how that came to be. God came through as usual.

I told myself  I wouldn’t take up any 9-5 job because I needed all the time I could get for my long term goal to play out properly  but sometime in February, my husband sent me an internship vacancy with an international organization and he advised I go for it since he feels I’d be a fit. I was reluctant at first but on second thoughts, I got his point and decided to try. If for nothing else, I could actually do with some new learnings and experience. So, I  started the application but was discouraged on seeing how long the process was. He still pushed me on and I concluded the application, then I was invited for an online assessment exam which I really thought was difficult but still did my best. Guess who was invited for an interview and later given the job? Yes, Omotolani.

In April, I began a three month contract with the organization;  Save the Children International, and it ended in July. There, I learnt more about being a good communicator and met the most awesome people, some of whom have become very close friends with me. It was quite beautiful working closely with children and knowing more about how the development sector works. I thank my husband over and over for bringing that opportunity my way and I have no regrets at all.

 

I got many messages from people asking me how I rebranded so well and how they can do same. Ah, this was the problem o,  I didn’t even know what to tell them but I just narrated the steps I took and realized that in the midst of my no clear cut strategy, there was actually a strategy and I can write a whole book about it. The greatest step for me however was networking and putting myself forward for many things. I met people, attended events, volunteered for more organizations and was an all round hippy hopper. Mentally Aware Nigeria, one of the NGOS I volunteer for, gave me an opportunity to speak to a really large crowd in July and despite having jitters before it commenced, it went really well and I was quite gladdened by the feedback.

I was going to travel in August for Eid, so one day I just thought about organizing a Meet and Greet. You know, it wasn’t so spontaneous like that, I had always wanted to do something involving women where we would have cozy conversations, eat lots of food and network; all in  a bid to make ourselves better. So, I believed a Meet and Greet would serve this purpose and I started planning it, with the help of other amazing ladies we pulled it and it was  indeed a successful event.  We had lots of sponsors and supporters ehn, it was really the best thing.

It was also the first year of marriage for me, as stated earlier, and this too can fill a whole  book. Lol. I have grown and learnt more and I am really glad. It is hard not to praise someone so amazing, so despite my effort at being so modest, I really have to send a shout out to my man. Thank you for doing everything you promised and more, thanks for always being in my corner, thanks for making this journey worthwhile, thanks for everything you teach me, thanks for letting me love you and loving me back quite beautifully, thank you for being in my team and never letting me go, thanks for all that you do, thanks for making me so happy. I love you, W, and I can only pray that Allah’s mercies never depart from you. We will keep getting better in love, In sha Allah.

I shouldn’t make it seem like I didn’t have any lows through the year o. I made a really bad investment decision by putting so much money in a business and the outcome wasn’t good. I had my crying moments, I had the times I didn’t feel good enough or felt like I wasn’t doing enough, I had yells and screams and rants but all in all, the positives outweighed the bad, Alhamdulilah.

2018 was quite action packed and fulfilling, I can’t relate everything because I don’t want to bore you guys, really.

 

Sometime after all of these, I fell ill. So I had to compulsorily slow down. I had to go off social media, I had to put my business on hold, I had to become a full time housewife, I had to stay home every day! This story, I will tell, by Allah’s will. I will tell you of the mercy of God, of the support from those I call  my friends and family, and again, of the mercy of my creator that never leaves me. When the time comes, I will, trust me, I really will.

I am ready to take on the year, and I hope it is a fruitful and beautiful one for all of us. Please put God first and never allow any disbelief in yourself. 2019, I wish to see everyone winning!

It’s my birthday today, please find time to say a prayer for me and my family. Wish me well and think of me positively, may we all be granted our beneficial desires and may we attain the happiness we seek, genuinely.  I’ll be back, OBA.

 

 

 

 

My Entrepreneurial Story: Aeesha Olayiwola Of Hijabs by Aeesha.

I tried for a long time to not make my Blog Cliche, to try and not make it focused on particular themes because it sort of reduces the reader to expecting certain things from me. As I tell everyone, my blog is where I come to express myself . I just want to write about every and anything I think about as long as I can put it into words. I’ve been trying to move away from interviews and all because I see them as topics that people would see on almost every blog. People want to feature too, I try to stall. But maybe this isnt about me not being cliche, maybe I am just being lazy. Lol.
So I have been thinking of how I can infuse interviews and collaborations and features into this and an oportunity came when I realised Aisha’s business would be turning one and she wouldnt mind writing about her story. Aisha is my own baby girl and I wrote about her business during the November Happiness Challenge. We go way back and I really cant be more proud of how far she has gone with her modest fashion business. Let’s hear her talk:

 March 30 makes it one year we officially launched our stay on Social Media  via short videos showing you what new thing we have for you and it’s been an exciting journey so far!… It’s been filled up and downs but the thoughts of how much of a supportive tribe we have built in the last one year, makes the whole strife worth it.

As a fresh man in the university, I was used to the usual no head cover way of dressing as it wasn’t enforced by my parents. So, I’d pack my hair in a neat bond and have people (males especially) pass nice comments. This didn’t last two weeks as I began to have this self-consciousness, I always had a veil and a wrapper in my bag for prayer, which was like a prayer costume once at the masjid and I always got the encouraging comments from the sisters in the masjid. You know my response already “may Allah make it easy’’(most of us have been there before). So, I started with wearing caps/turbans, Alhamdulilah and in another two weeks, I found myself in front of the mirror with a pashmina scarf, trying what hijab styles I had seen on several sisters on campus. It looked pretty on me. One mind said to yank it off and tie it the turban way , but I made up my mind to wear it and Alhamdulilah, that was how my hijab story started.

My mum didn’t like the idea of wearing the hijab at that stage. She felt I didn’t have a self- conviction as to why and I still had some more time to do some ‘’shakara’’( whose mum thinks or thought this way too?) but I insisted on wearing it and she soon agreed with me on the basis that I had to keep it smart and fashionable. Before the hijab, she already made rules like “WEAR MORE OF SKIRTS! ONLY LONG TOPS ON TROUSERS IF YOU HAVE TO’’ On many of her trips, she’d buy me pretty hijabs, pins, tunics and skirts just so she makes sure I kept to the conditions as she still did all of my shopping ( well, she pretty much still does most of it) at that time. Soon enough, I became a role model to my friends and other muslim ladies in their first year, if I could start wearing it and still looked pretty, they were inspired, I remember how I’d style hijabs for my friends on mornings before we went for lectures. We all became pros and got our own individual styles after a while but in this time I had friends take one or two scarves from my wardrobe, I’d buy some during the holidays and give to my friends at the cost price, many as gifts and it all didn’t appear to me that I had a passion for modest fashion already.

 My aunty who is a hijabie was dazed, we had lived together all along before her marriage but she didn’t imagine me wearing the hijab on a regular. I then boasted as to how I was even helping people with their hijab needs and styling. She said to me, ‘’why don’t you get these things and make them available to your friends at some extra cost. You know I sold shoes when I was in school too”. I discarded the thoughts, I wasn’t going to spend five (5) years studying agricultural economics, I had set out for medicine and was still juggling studying for another jamb with these lectures in school. No way I could make out time to do that.

My second year in university was one that required you being in the classroom morning till evening (Apparently, medicine didn’t work again) and burning the night candles to ace the bulky yet many courses. You can tell what happened again, I didn’t give the business a thought. At the end of my second year, I aced my courses and was on the top list in my class. I wasn’t happy still, I wanted medicine but that tiny self- confidence began to grow. This grade won me a seat in the Agricultural economics department and it was just enough consolation for me, Alhamdulilah.

Father was impressed with the second year grades, so during the short break, he suggested I learn how to drive. My sister, Maryam had just got an admission to study in the college of medicine in the same university as me . “You and your sister can use the car to navigate your ways around campus” he said. What a life saver! I lived in a boys quarters that was far away from civilisation. I had to walk my way to school every morning as you’d never find cabs around there. Then the pieces began to make a pretty design in my head but still looked vague. First series of lectures in the agricultural economics department were on Agribusiness management, Micro-economics and Agricultural finance, business records and contrary to my opinion and of several people, only farming ideas were taught in a regular agricultural economics class. Absolutely wrong! The basic economics is taught and an application to agriculture comes next. A few lecturers would ask in the middle of a class, who had a business or intended having one. My friends who knew about it will mention my name in unison ”Aishah” and I’d have to stand and give a brief intro and talk to the lecturer, more like a free consultation session. I was never the type to be asked questions and look blank. I just needed to blurt out something even in the worst scenarios. I’d give business-minded responses that had just been lying in my subconscious and end with capital intensivity and a doubting face (my dreams looked too big for me to accomplish, even now I still shiver at some thoughts) and it’d lead to further questions which maybe related to what had been taught. I realised I just needed a push! A female lecturer invited me to her office on one of these days, she encouraged me and of course reminded me of how I had to take my courses seriously too, then I thanked Allah, seems like He had a better plan asides medicine for me. I wrote out my plans and spoke to mother about it. My trunk wasn’t just going to sit there useless. She kicked against it at first and then said to see what grades the semester ends with, else, I shut the business down. She made a few calls and with my savings and a “loan’’ from her, my trunk made new friends in a week.

The mobile business started and I was the first and only lady student to pull into the masjid on every jumah day( this would mean that I had woken up early enough to wash the car myself before going for lectures, sometimes I did it the previous day), get a strategic parking space, open my trunk and stand in the sun for about 3 hours and attend to customers!. It was a new one in the university environment, people were dazed especially because I obviously looked small, I had just clocked 19 at the time(2013) and my trunk always had beautiful and unique items in them. I began to grow a customer base, I’d treat every customer with utmost respect (it earned me a lot),a large number who were fellow students as me, we’d interact on a personal note, help them mix and match when they had events and I’d ditch speaking English for Yoruba when I had older clients to deal with, they loved it!. Soon enough, I became a household name ( the business didn’t even have a name at the time) in the university and environs. People would come to pray in the masjid in Unibadan with an intention to shop after jumah. Many didn’t even know me but the description was clear ’’Aishah, the only girl at the parking lot with a trunk of hijabs and accessories’’, some others had my phone number and could track with it. 

Consistency was my watchword here and it was what pushed me on every Friday morning when I was feeling lazy. Every business has a goodwill that stems from their clients’ perception of them and is pretty much as easy to lose as gained .I got full support of family and we made joint efforts to remain actors in the market.

The years passed and one friend or the other will tell me about how I could increase sales with the social media. I wasn’t cut out for it ( I had school grades and a weekly physical market to deal with). At the end of my fourth year in uni, I was convinced that I had laid a solid foundation in terms of grades. So, I explored the online business with a major focus on Instagram. We set out for a photo shoot, it didn’t seem so easy considering all the logistics involved as I had a low-cost budget but it was worth the try! Alhamdulilah. In less than two months (March 2016), I realised a gap that needed to be filled, it had been one I had constantly tried to find ways around but just never got it. Very of many of my corporate muslimah customers always wanted instant hijabs that’d suit their office wears but the market was flooded with the regular ready to wear hijabs. The opportunity to fill this gap came and in no time, I took advantage of it, took a leap of faith and recorded short video clips, the feedback was overwhelming. We got advices, critics and a support we didn’t imagine and it definitely made us bigger and better.

Final year was the toughest for me( but Today, I’m grateful to Allah for planning my university education that way, a good percentage of what I apply to the business today were learnt in the lecture rooms.) I had to multi-task like I never have, from park A to park B dispatching orders, taking orders, working on bridal pieces with close deadlines, having bridal styling sessions , managing the growing customer base and of course staying up to study . I have graduated now and I can only say Alhamdulilah, Allah has been merciful.

In that one year, you have stayed and grown with us and we can’t but appreciate your loyal support and continuous patronage. We ask that you remain on this boat ride with us as we promise to serve you the best of what we know how to do best, bringing you quality, unique and affordable modest fashion accessories at your own convenience. Won’t you rather stay with us?

To mark our first anniversary on Instagram, we are having a sales promotion you don’t want to miss out on. Looking back at the last one year, we want to appreciate your loyalty, patronage and support. We’re not where we want to be yet but we’re hopeful that you’d stand by us in years to come.Please accept our token of appreciation. Got your shopping bags already??

  I’m Aishah Olayiwola, a graduate of Agricultural economics and a Modest Fashion Entrepreneur.

So, there we have it guys. Isn’t that just a beautiful story? Please don’t miss out in the freebie. Do check her out on Instagram (@hijabsbyaeesha) to participate and also to patronize for yourselves and family. 

If you’d like to be featured here, you have a collaboration idea you want to do with me  or you just have anything you want to share , please send me an email on busaritolani@gmail.com and We are good to go. 

I’ll be back. BOS

This ‘Happily Ever After’ Story got me in Stitches

Hello my people, I’m sorry I have been quiet since the beginning of the year, I am still working on the series I promised you. I came across this story on WeddingDigestNaija and I thought to share it with you all, I believe stories about Relationships and Marriages would interest many of us. Please read, digest and let me know what you think.

 

The story goes thus:

My name is Ibukun, you can just call me Ib as that is what I am called by everybody anyway. I am sited at my desk in this office this Friday morning reflecting on my life these past 5 years. The mistakes I made, the decisions I took and how this job that meant the whole world to me has suddenly become a burden. I remember the day I met my husband here in the city of Abuja, I came for my job interview and he had come to have a meeting with one of the marketers. He could see how nervous I was sitting at the reception waiting to be called that he offered to wait and take me for a drink after. I gave him the meanest look I could muster and told him to mind his business. See me preparing my mind for the biggest job interview of my life and there he was chasing woman. I composed myself and went in for the interview with my laptop almost falling from my hands. I could already tell they loved all the samples of my designs I showed them from the looks on their faces. After all, I am fully invested in my profession as an architect and this kind of opportunity trust me, is not common. I showed them some beautiful 3D designs and drafted floor plans. I came out all smiling and confident. I went to the road to hail and taxi and Lo and behold, he had been waiting for me.
That was how Ifemidayo began to capture my heart. We had a very interesting relationship. he was everything I had been looking for in a man. he was gentle, hardly ever got angry for more than an hour and never even pressured me about sex. He was such a gentleman. To seal it up my family loved him. It even seemed like my parents and my siblings loved him more than me. Ifemi as I call him was the ideal man for me. Two years later, we got married in Lagos where my family home is and then we travelled to Dubai for our honeymoon. I had been working for 2 years now and my job was very well paying so we could afford a reasonable wedding and a nice honeymoon. Ifemi had a good job too with a consulting firm. It was one of these coded firms in Abuja that had plenty money to pay their staff. We were comfortable, we were in love and we loved God. It seemed like nothing could go wrong. We rented a nice two bedroom flat in Gwarinpa about a month before the wedding and we both had our cars already so all was set for a great life ahead. We came back to Abuja after the honeymoon to live happily ever after… or so we thought..

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 2

Life couldn’t be better for us. I got a promotion about a month after the wedding. Ifemi started talking about having children but I just could not imagine that yet. I just got promoted to the position of assistant manager. Work would definitely become hectic so getting pregnant would just mess up my plans. One night, we came back from work and just finished having dinner and we had this big conversation, I remember it vividly like it was yesterday even though it was 3 years ago. Ifemi said, “IB we can’t just postpone starting a family indefinitely just because of your job. You knew I wanted a family as soon as we got married. You knew this right from the start. You used to feel the same way and I don’t get why you are suddenly having a change of heart”. I was so angry that day; I just could not get what the whole fuss was about. I told him straight on, “Now I see why they say men are so selfish. You know how much this promotion means to me and suddenly you just can’t give me a break. I told you my work schedule will become hectic because of this new position. All I have asked for is a year to settle in before I start pumping babies. Now we are married, you think whatever you desire is law? Ifemidayo, you are joking. Except it is not my body that will carry the babies, that is when you can be getting impatient. As for me, I am not ready and that is final.” I looked into my husband’s eyes and I have never seen such anger in him before. I expected him to lash out in more anger but he just quietly turned and went to bed. I was proud of myself for making my point clear. I just felt Ifemi was being selfish just because our salaries would be the same with this new promotion I got.

The next day, I went to the hospital during lunch hour and fixed IUD as a protection. After all, the lack of contraceptive against pregnancy is the beginning of foolishness. I could not trust Ifemidayo to not get me pregnant intentionally and he would never support any permanent contraceptive so I just did it anyway. I’ll take it off codedly when I am ready. After that day, I stopped arguing with him about having babies. In fact, the next time he raised the issue, I simply said okay. He would never know I have sorted myself. Ifemidayo began to take special care of me after then. He would buy me fruits, make sure I took enough vegetables, read everything and anything about women trying to have babies. He made me start taking folic acid at some point in the hope that it would prepare my body for pregnancy. The sex was very regular and it was fun for me. He even started making me calculate my ovulation period. After one year of making so much effort, Ifemi started getting worried. I thought about telling him about the contraceptive I have fixed but work was more hectic than I thought and I could not jeopardize that yet especially now that we were building our own house. How would I support him if I lost my job? I thanked God for the wonderful in-laws I have because Ifemi’s mom is truly one of those mothers that do not intrude. There was a time I even felt bad because the pastor recommended a 7days fast in church for people that want children. Ifemi made sure we did the fast. I joined him in doing that but I used the opportunity to pray for other things.

My Manager suddenly knocks on my door and that cuts into my thoughts. Ibukun, “have you done the 3D designs for Glamour concepts Ltd yet? Yes sir, I am bringing it to the meeting now. I looked at my watch. It is time for Friday meeting. I was totally lost in thought sha. I didn’t even know I had been sitting on my desk for 2 hours already. I got busy with work all through that day and I didn’t get back to my thoughts until my drive home at 7pm that night. Sometime last year, I finally decided I wanted to have children. It was not fun seeing Ifemi suffer and seeing all my friends cute babies wasn’t helping matter either. I decided to take out the IUD but I still haven’t gotten around to it yet. This morning, Ifemi called me that he has booked an appointment for us tomorrow to see a gynecologist and do some check up to make sure all is well. I have tried for so long to avoid this but today, he was very adamant. I am thinking maybe I should just tell him about the contraceptive or try and remove it early in the morning before we go to the appointment t 2pm. I do not even want to imagine Ifemi’s reaction and actions if I tell him. I will quietly remove it in the morning. I was so lost in thought, I didn’t see the truck parked in the middle of the road, all I heard was the crash and I just blacked out. My last thoughts were of my beloved.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 3
I woke up with a smashing headache and confusing thoughts. I looked around and there he was, sitting quietly by my hospital bedside lost in thoughts. I quickly closed my eyes and remembered all I was thinking about before my accident. I was going to sneak out tomorrow morning to go remove the IUD before our doctor’s appointment. Wait, I don’t even know how long I have been out for. I have to check my phone at least to check the date. I opened my eyes and he saw me. I wish I could freeze that moment. The joy in his eyes, the smile on his face was priceless. How could I have made this man I love so much sad these past years, waiting earnestly for a child I purposely did not give him. How will he ever trust me again. If there is one thing I know about Ifemi, he never tolerates lies. He stood up and gave me a very big kiss on the lips. The doctor came in at that moment and assured us everything is fine and we can go home in another day or two. I had been out for up to 24 hours so they had to just monitor my progress.

Ifemi then asked the doctor what I feared most; Doc, we were scheduled to see a gynecologist today before to have a check up and make sure everything is fine as we have been trying to have a baby. Do you think we can run those tests now since we are already in the hospital? The doctor said they’ll come by later to run some scans and left. There is no escape now, no secret way to avoid being caught in this big lie. I am so scared right now. How do I face him? The next day,I was feeling much stronger and the tests had been done. Ifemi came into my room with the doctor, I had to force him to go home to sleep last night. The doctor said he wanted to talk to us both about the results of the tests they ran on me. He started by saying, Mrs Babalola, when exactly did you fix your IUD? Ifemi said, what is IUD? I could not even look at his face while the doctor explained to him what an IUD was and he was arguing that of course I did not do it as we have been trying to have children. I saved him further embarrassment and told the doctor it has been 3 years.

Ifemi looked at me and said, Ibukun what do you mean 3 years? You fixed a contraceptive without informing me? You lied to me and made me put in so much effort looking for a child? You seriously did that? I did not even know what to say. The doctor then said, Mr Babalola, that is the least of your worries, the problem now is that there has been some complications with the IUD. This is a rare complication and we rarely see this occur but unfortunately, we are now faced with this situation. We have found that your IUD has shifted from its original position and has now migrated through the opening of your right Fallopian tube. We would have to perform some surgeries to actually get it removed and the earlier we do that the better so as not to totally affect your chances of getting pregnant. I stared at the doctor in disbelief, I could not even begin to comprehend what he was saying. I have so many friends that have fixed this same IUD and nothing has ever happened. Are you sure there is no mistake here? The doctor then tried to explain about how this was a rare complication and all but I just was not listening anymore. I looked at Ifemi’s eyes and I could see the judgment in his eyes. I came off my bed and held him begging but he looked at me and said, it was your decision, fix it anyhow you like and he walked out. I just cannot believe this is happening. The tears won’t stop falling. All I wanted was to delay pregnancy for a while, I knew I shouldn’t have lied to my husband but how was I to know I would have such a complication. I am so lost right now, I don’t even know what to do. Will Ifemi ever come back? Am I even still married? My phone started ringing and I looked at the phone and saw it was my mother in law. Oh God! Ifemi must have called.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 4

My mother in law spoke to me at length that day. Ifemi had never spoken to her about our marriage before so for him to have called her, she knew I had taken it too far. She said I had taken my job as a priority over my marriage and it would take God to win my hubby back. At the end of that conversation, I felt so weak and broken. I was surprised to see Ifemi arrive back at the hospital the next morning before my surgery. He was not smiling nor speaking to me but his presence there gave me hope. Over the next few weeks, they had to perform 3 surgeries to finally repair all the damage. Ifemi was there all through providing all the support I needed but he still was not speaking to me. The doctor told us that the complications were very bad and my chance of having a baby immediately was 50%. They had done all they could and all was left in God’s hands. I could tell from the way Ifemi looked at me that forgiveness was a long shot not when he still could not have the baby he wanted.

By the time I went back to work Ifemi and I were still not in a good place. I had tried several times to seduce him and get him to even touch me but he just turns around and refuses. The last time I woke him in the night to talk about how we can move on, he just said, “you should have had this conversation before taking decisions by yourself” and went back to sleep. Ifemi that used to come home straight from work now comes back around 10pm, at times later. I just could not fathom how one single action could have broken my marriage this way. The other day, I made him breakfast and he said he wasn’t hungry, I tried to cajole him to eat it and he said, “have you poisoned the food? It is definitely not beyond you, If you can lie for 3 years, you can definitely kill me”. I cried for a long time that day, I shouted and fought. I reminded him of how he said for better for worse and how it was just one mistake but he simply looked at me and walked out. We were living together like strangers in the same house. I definitely cannot spend the rest of my life begging him. It has been 2 months already.

One Wednesday afternoon, my colleague in the office, Wale saw me crying and pestered me and what was wrong. I had never spoken to anybody about my marriage and I was dying inside. I opened my mouth and told him everything from the beginning to the end. It was such a belief sharing my pain with somebody else. After I said everything, Wale decided to take me to lunch, we talked for so long during lunch. He was really good at listening. Wale told me what I did was really wrong and that I had to keep working on my marriage. He said my husband too was taking it too far and had to forgive me eventually and I agreed with him. He said he was there for me whenever I needed somebody to talk to as it was not even healthy for me to bottle so much up. He made me smile for which I was grateful. It had been long since I had an interesting time. It is really lonely at home these days. That was the beginning of my friendship with Wale……

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 5

After a while I stopped feeling miserable. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was not bottling up so much anymore. Wale had a great listening ear and could listen to my problems all day. Ifemi kept on giving me the worst attitude for another month and after a while I began to ignore him. After over 2 months of wasting so much food, I stopped cooking for him. In fact I stopped doing anything for him. We lived like strangers. It was such a surprise that we still slept in the same bed. We hardly said hello to each other. I preferred to even stay in the office late and gist with Wale. We had lunch and dinner together and I just went home to sleep most days. Wale even advised me that men were not that difficult and if Ifemi sees that his actions were no longer affecting me, he would change and that is exactly what happened.

After about two weeks of ignoring Ifemi, he came home one night and asked me to make dinner for him. I smiled in my mind and went to make him dinner. We ate together that night, he gisted me about his day in the office and we talked into the night. Eventually, the conversation drifted to what happened and Ifemi said he had forgiven me and wanted us to give our marriage another chance. I apologized again and he said now he knows the height of my stubbornness but loves me anyway. I wanted to tell him about my friendship with Wale at that point but it just felt like it would be a betrayal and I did not want to spoil the moment for us.I had so much fun because we gisted like old friends. We didn’t even get to the bedroom before Ifemi started touching me. We were like high school kids having their first make out session. Very rushed but fun. We made love right there on the sitting room floor, cuddled and slept off there.

I came into the office late the next morning after the beautiful night I just had. Wale came to see me immediately to check if I was okay.After all, I had been coming to work very early and closing really late just to avoid Ifemi. I did not plan to give him the full gist of what had happened but Wale said he wouldn’t leave my office till he got the full story. I was so excited anyway to hold it in. I gave him the full story of how hubby and I made up and even had makeup sex on the sitting room floor. Wale was so excited about it and told me how proud he was of me. He said now that my husband is back now, my work husband can take a bow right? I assured him he was still my bestie whenever Ifemi was naughty. As we walked out of my office together, Wale surprisingly pulled me for a hug and while I was still wondering what the hug was for, he planted a kiss on my lips. He walked out while my mouth was still open. I was really confused. It wasn’t that the kiss was not nice, quite the opposite. I just did not understand why Wale will kiss me now that Ifemi and I are getting our marriage back on track. I really did not know what to do but telling Ifemi seemed out of the question now that we were just recovering, I simply could not make him distrust me again. I decided talking to Wale about it seemed like a better option…….

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 6

Over the next few weeks, Ifemi and I made efforts to get our marriage on track. It seemed like we had drifted apart for too long and we had gotten used to doing things separately. I tried to put things to bed with Wale by discussing the hug and kiss with him but immediately I raised the issue, he just brushed it aside. I just concluded he probably just got carried away or maybe he did not even plan to kiss me anyway. Why make it such a big deal? I began to reduce our lunch dates though and hubby started coming to take me to lunch once in a while. Every thing was getting so rosy and I was having the time of my life in my marriage, until one day….

Ifemi went jogging that Saturday morning and left his phone at home. Out of boredom, I just started going through his phone. It had been so long since I checked his phone because it was always so boring. I was not prepared for what I saw. There was an unfamiliar name on his WhatsApp chat. Ifemi did not usually have female friends so seeing the name, Jadesolami was quite a shock. Who will my husband use such an endearment for? I then scrolled the chat way back to earlier messages. I just could not stop the tears. In the two months that Ifemi refused to speak to me, he had found comfort in the arms of another woman.

They had shared such intimate chats, the likes of which hubby and I hardly ever wrote to each other even in our best moments. Hubby even wrote in one of his messages that he wished he had met her earlier. The fact that their last messages showed they had ended things was no consolation at all. She wrote that she misses Ifemi and she hopes that the marriage he left her to build was worth it and the only reply my darling hubby had given was that he misses her too and prays it all works out. I just could not fathom it. Ifemi that hardly even spoke to women. Just one simple mistake and he ran to another woman’s arms. Nothing had ever prepared me for this. Something kept telling me that if he could forgive me for what I did, I should be able to forgive him too but I just refused to listen. he was supposed to be the faithful and responsible one. I wrote 20 sticky notes saying, “Jadesola misses you” and put it everywhere in the house, right from the front door to the fridge, table tops and everywhere stick-able. I took my car keys and drove straight to Wale’s house. I did not even remember to call ahead to know if he was home. The tears wouldn’t even stop. I could hardly see. Wale opened on the first knock and was so surprised to see me. He asked what happened and I told him all that happened amidst tears. He cuddled me on the sofa and rocked me to sleep.

By the time I woke up, I was on Wale’s bed around 2pm. He must have carried me after I slept. It really was comforting to have such a friend. I looked around for my phone and did not find it so I went to the sitting room to find it. Wale was watching TV and he told me he had made me some rice since he knew I had not eaten. I knew ifemi would be worried and I asked for my phone. Wale said he had switched it off as Ifemi had not stopped calling. I felt rather uncomfortable that Wale just decided to switch off my phone but I also knew he was just looking out for me. By the time I put on my phone, I had 20 missed calls from Ifemi, my battery was already very low. I thought of calling him back but Wale advised me to let him stew for a while that I could bunk with him for as long as I wanted. I knew I could not do that so I decided I would go stay in a hotel later in the evening. Wale did not seem so pleased with the idea but there was nothing he could do so he went to serve me my food. I really could not eat the food as the tears started again. I was just disappointed in Ifemi. Wale came to sit by my side to stop my tears and that was when I felt his hands rubbing my back and then he started rubbing my laps. My first thought was of Ifemi’s betrayal. I knew Wale was going to go all the way if I allowed him but was I willing to? Then I also was so angry with my hubby, all these months he made me feel so guilty over lying to him when he was busy being unfaithful? Why not just even the slate? I turned to Wale with all my anger and kissed him hard on the lips….

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 7

The sudden knock on the door was the jolt that brought me back to my senses. Seriously? I couldn’t believe I just kissed another man so deeply. I always believed that Ifemi was my one and only. Wale was so angry at the distraction. The way he shouted, who is that? kind of made me laugh. I tried to gather my wits around me and compose myself and the little dignity I have left. He went to the door and I wondered who he was discussing with but I was not kept in suspense for too long as one of the prettiest ladies I have ever seen walked into the door. One of those women you just meet and you instantly feel inadequate and unsure of yourself. She had so much class and poise and when she said, ” hello, I am Tumi, Wale’s fiancé and you are? It took me a while to recover and not to let the shock I was feeling register on my face. I am Mrs Ibukun Babalola, your fiancée and I work together and he has never stopped talking about how great you are. I cast a quick glance at Wale and I have never seen so much guilt on a person’s face before. I just could not believe he had never mentioned having a girlfriend before not to talk of being engaged. I looked at her and saw the big rock sitting on her finger, she was definitely engaged.

I quickly excused myself and made a silly excuse about coming to sort out an office presentation for Monday, even though she did not ask me what I came for. Wale did not say a word all through. He decided to see me off to the car. I was walking so briskly and just wanted to get away from that embarrassment as fast as possible. Wale started to mention that he was sorry, I landed a very deliberate dirty slap on his face and got into my car and drove off. I parked just down his street and checked my phone. There was already over 30 missed calls from Ifemi and text messages begging not to hurt myself and come back home. I decided to drive straight home and listen to what my beloved hubby had to say. Immediately I drove into our compound and saw my mother in law’s car packed in the compound, I was already irritated. So after cheating on me, Ifemi had the guts to go call reinforcement or what?

I walked into the sitting room with a straight face. I greeted mummy and asked if she had been here for long and if she had eaten. I did not even give Ifemi a second glance even though I knew he was sited right there. She said she was fine and had been waiting for me for about an hour since she was the reason I came and she wanted to talk to me. She told me it was a private discussion and I should lead the way to our bedroom. I was wondering what it was mum wanted to discuss with me privately and had made her come all the way. One thing I loved my mother in law for was the fact that she does not get involved. Even when we had the last big issue that threatened our marriage, she only gave me a call. She was just so busy anyway. I did not have to guess for long. Just as we sat in the room, mum launched into a very long story of how she knew some things that had been happening in our marriage and how hubby and I have been making so many mistakes. She said all of our other mistakes has led to this point where we both have to choose if this marriage actually matters to us. She said she knows about Jadesola, who indeed had an affair with my hubby and that now the lady was pregnant with his child. I suddenly went blank. It felt like pregnancy had another meaning. I was totally speechless. Mummy kept on talking like she did not just drop a bombshell. She said she just could not understand how I put my job before my marriage and refused to give my husband a child. I could not shout or scream. I just sat there in silence, the tears running down my face while she waited for me to answer he question of, so what will you do now?

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 8

I sat at that spot for what seemed like an eternity. I knew my marriage was over. I just did not feel it was worth fighting for. I could never forgive Ifemi for impregnating another woman no matter what I must have done to him. He promised me for better or worse. I stood up eventually with the tears still streaming uncontrollably down my face, walked to the wardrobe and started packing my things. My mother in law came to stand by me and advised me not to go. She kept saying I should not make this mistake. I should not give up on my marriage but to fight for it. She kept going on and on but I totally ignored her. When I was done packing about two boxes, I turned to her and said thank you. I picked my boxes and dragged them to the sitting room. Ifemi was still sitting there, I saw a momentary surprise on his face at the packed boxes but otherwise, he just looked at me and shook his head. That took my anger to another level, I had planned to just walk by but I turned to him and said, “you are such a wicked hypocrite. This marriage was all about children to you right? You jumped at the first pair of skirts to offer them to you. Go to hell Ifemi and stay there. Woe betides me if I ever think of accepting an unfaithful dog like you”. He did not utter a word of reply.

The rest of that day was in a haze. I drove my car, parked it in my office compound and took a cab to the airport. I took the next available flight to Lagos and went home. My mom did not seem surprised to see me and was not accepting at all. I was put under the fire immediately I entered the house even though it was almost midnight. My mother in law and my husband had both called her and told her the whole story. My mom did not even want to listen to me. I begged her to understand but she said I should have called her before messing my whole marriage up and I should get back to my husband immediately. She said I could not stay in the house and she would never condone such but I told her point blank I was not going back there. I could not sleep that night as I was desperately trying to piece it all together. The next morning, I took my bag and headed to a hotel. I texted my mom, telling her where I was in the hope that she will ask me to come back home but she did not reply. By Sunday morning, I had not eaten for 2 days and I was so weak. I had to order room service and I stayed in all day.

On Monday, I started to think deeply about what to do next. I could not stay in a hotel indefinitely and I needed to get back to the office. Would I now get a separate apartment in Abuja or what do I do? If I go back to Abuja now, where do I live? Another hotel? I did not even have friends I could live with. Just as I was thinking of that, my phone beeped, I got an email. I had to read the mail about 4 times to understand that I had just been sacked due to downsizing blah blah blah. Another round of tears started. This could not have happened at a worse time. After all, I had given to that company, now they know they are downsizing? I had heard rumours of it but I never thought in a million years it could affect me. I was not even in Abuja to go fight and raise hell about it. It was really beginning to feel like my whole world had come crushing down. Maybe it was a bad idea to pack out of the house after all. We could take the baby and settle the mother far away from us. That looked like a possible option. I decided to chill a stew in Lagos for one more week before going back home to Abuja.

Immediately I made that decision, I started to feel better. I would definitely get another job but another husband? That is a big NO. I started calling up old friends in Lagos and spent the whole week visiting and hanging out.

By Thursday, Ifemi started calling me. I refused to pick his call but I was smiling in my mind. Now he has come to his senses. I’ll leave him to be sad until Sunday and I’ll take the morning flight home. I booked my ticket immediately, I really was starting to accept the idea of the child. On Friday morning, there was a knock on my hotel room door. I was surprised to see my mom but her face was scary. I have never seen my mom so sad before. I kept asking her what was wrong but she asked me to sit down. Immediately I did, I knew my life was over. She said Ifemi had decided to come meet me in Lagos yesterday evening and he had a car accident on his way to the airport in Abuja. I said, so how is he? Is he okay? I need to get to the hospital immediately. My mom pulled me and said, they tried very hard in the hospital but Ifemi died at about 2 am this morning. I could hear screams but I did not even know they were coming from me. I felt myself landing on the bed, I knew I kept shouting but I know nothing else that happened there after. How could I have killed the person I love most in this world?

(THE END)

I want to say a big thank you to all those that followed my story. I hope we all got the lessons in this and can avoid making some grave mistakes in our marriages.

May God give us all wisdom to build our homes.
Let us live, love and learn for the journey is still far and it is not for the fainthearted.

Pls ladies it’s worth reading.
It’s worth sharing
Family is everything.

One single mistake can ruin it all.
Don’t keep secrets away from each other and always carry each other along.

Author: Ibukun Babalola (Mrs)

 

Hmnn, I’ll be awaiting your thoughts via comments.

 

Source: WeddingDigestNaija.com

How my 2016 went…

I had started this Review before my workplace closed for the year and then a Colleague peeped the title and got a little upset with me. The title was : 2016 HAS BEEN UNDERWHELMING. He just couldn’t wrap his head around why I would pick such an unbecoming topic despite being one of the happiest girls all year. He went on to enumerate all the amazing things that happened to me over the year and how much I should be thankful instead of being unnecessarily unappreciative with that topic. This got me thinking guys, Maybe I am really being silly, maybe I should be more grateful, maybe the end of year review should have more spice, maybe the Happiness I am known for should be made the title for this and I really should not stop being happy, after all, I am the Happy girl and I share doses of happiness here and there. 

The year started with my birthday as usual, I had an amazing family, a lovely job with the best co workers, wonderful friends who would go every mile for me, admirers around who felt I was a source of inspiration to them in one way or the other, life was good. I did not have a boyfriend but I cannot exactly say that I was lonely, I had people I talked to and they treated me like I was an egg. See, I think I am a people person, I don’t know how that happened but it is what it is.

In March, my only sister got married to the love of her life, I mean that literally. You should see these two together, you would fall in love with love. Seeing her looking so happy made my year, I mean it. You really don’t know how much people mean to you until you see them so happy and you feel the happiness radiate in you too. It was a successful event and we couldn’t have been happier as a family. Yours truly was the Bestlady and trust me when I say it was lit!

Sometime in Late May, I started thinking a lot, a bit too much and that sort of affected me. I started having the feel that I was not where I wanted to be, I felt like I was supposed to be elsewhere and I did not see the need to be happy as I used to be. Everything looked a blur to me and I became a robot who only woke up everyday to do the things she did the previous day. It was so unreal because nobody knew, I still managed to be the smiling lady everyone knew and you wouldn’t have guessed I was shrinking. I know we are supposed to have goals and aspirations but have you ever felt like these goals could be bad for us especially when we start measuring our journey and feeling like these goals are far from reach, we tend to stop living. That was what happened to me, I couldn’t understand why certain things were happening to me, with how much I used to pray and how well behaved I was to everyone, it was a lot for me to bear and I started falling, deep!

I couldn’t take it anymore one day and I put a sad message up on my BBM, the influx of messages brought tears to my eyes, I got the warmest of messages from people who I ddn’t know how much I had influenced in the past. A particular young lady called me and listened to me cry, I was overwhelmed! She then went on to tell me how everyone has their battles and how I should look at the way I was perceived by everyone, how much I inspired her and how the world admires my strengths and ability to survive happily. That might have looked cliché but trust me, it touched me deeply, it was really beautiful to me and I made a conscious effort that night, to continue as the happy young lady I had grown to be, and to live life as it came. Thanks Seun, You are that amazing young lady who encouraged me!

 One thing that is worthy of note however, is that, all through this time, I never for once neglected my Salat, I would make sure I prayed and I would cry in sujud. I would do non obligatory prayers from time to time and bare it all out to God. My Olatoun was a big supporter with this and she kept encouraging me to not leave my prayers. I decided to analyse all the things that were seemingly making me sad and look at how they could be better, I realized that I really was dwelling on the non-important things and I had allowed fear and non satisfaction to grow, that had to stop! I began to do more happiness inclined things and made sure I avoided alone times, I kept praying too and brethren, It helped! Before I knew it, I had gotten my groove back, Alhamdulilah.

My big sister in Abuja got married in August and it was a beautiful experience. We were all teary at her Bridal shower as we exchanged mushy messages and she prayed deeply for us. You know, Sister Bisayo is so amazing that, If I start talking about her right now, we might not finish till tomorrow. Lol. I couldn’t have been happier especially as I know how much her husband adores her. Ya all know how big on love I am and seeing these two wonderful souls shower so much on each other gives me smiles every time.

Sometime in late August, I had accommodation issues and had to move out of the house I was fast. I was so devastated as I ddnt see it coming, I started crying again. ( Yes, I know I’m such a cry baby). I started questioning why certain things had to happen to me despite always striving to be good but I just had to understand that life isn’t exactly black and white. My parents came through at this time and they kept telling me how they were ready to sort out my issues. My friend and sister, Fatima, actually cleared her room already for me so I’d move in to stay as long as I wanted. Sunkanmi (the bestie), told me he’d come pick me with all my load to come stay at his place as he just couldn’t bear to watch me suffer. Dare (my brother from another mother) made a few calls and before I knew it, I got a room to myself, for free guys, a Free Room in Lagos!

I kept wondering what I had done to deserve the kind of constant love people always showed me and it dawned on me that God’s grace surpasses every thing else. All you need in this life of sin are God’s grace, mercy and every wonderful thing in between!.

My blog stats boomed a lot this year. I was a bit more consistent and the November Challenge brought me a lot of new friendships, meaningful conversation and true bonding. The reader’s community grew more and I feel like I have a special family in those who visit the blog from time to time and encourage me with their comments. I found myself getting many messages from strangers who liked what I was doing, one of such people is Maryam, a pretty lady who has grown to be a part of me. I got acquainted with many wonderful people this year, I won’t even lie. Bimpe, my very pretty housemate who makes it a point of duty to make sure I feed well and never tires of my incessant ‘ wahala’. Mutmainah, my long lost sister who social media brought my way again, she never stops buzzing to check on me. Kofoworola, my badass make up artiste friend , who beats my face to perfection every time (Though we met late last year, 2016 was when we grew our bond). I really cannot begin to mention everyone, but believe me, you all made my year!

In December, Allah blessed my sister with a beautiful baby girl, making my mum a Grandmother for the first time! I was so excited, still am. It doesn’t happen all the time that one gets a baby exactly nine months after her wedding . Alhamdulilah! That wasn’t all for December o. My elder brother got married to his woman and my crew and I turned it all up in the city of Abeokuta. I won’t lie, there were plenty celebrations in the family this year and we have nobody to thank but Allah and the many amazing people who wish us well. 

I am highly enthusiastic about the new year guys, beautiful things are already brewing and I feel like the best girl in the world. I am hopeful, and prayerful that 2017 will be better and with more good news. I pray for you, for myself, for everyone reading this, that our happiness will be genuine in the new year and we will keep getting better in our respective paths. As I always say, do not fret or be sad, Allah is indeed with us. I love you guys and I look forward to the journey of the new year, which I believe will be taken with you.  Oh wait! There are pictures !

I’ll be back. BOS

Hello Wifey, Here is your Husband Saying: I’ll Love You Forever…

My brother is getting married tomorrow but not before he has penned this to his wife to be, It was written solely for her  but then we decided to share it with the world. Love is just such a beautiful thing and I pray we all find it in its sweetest form. Here is a letter written for a pretty woman, by her husband to be :

Letter to my wife to be: Today is our Nikkah  and I decided to  write this letter to you.One of my friends asked me how prepared I am, I smiled and  told him I have never been more sure of any decision that I have made all my life.I am completely content with how my life has played out.  Guess what it is babe , It’s 5; 15 am and its like the time should move faster because seriously speaking,I can’t wait to see you and let the world have a taste of our love story.I thought  the Ventura proposal where I got a Yes in front of those lovely kids was my happiest day but nothing can ever be compared to the way I am feeling right now.(mi o le calm down rara).  I closed my eyes and the thought of how far we have come crossed my mind over again just like yesterday.I tagged it our first everything;Remember the first time I met you,how I got a No that later turned to a Yes after my persistent policy(Anoda yes of cos),How scared you were when I first took you home to my momma and my sisters?The way you  were busy asking questions like will your mum and sis like and accept me?  am so sure you and mum don’t remember there was ever a day like this especially whenever you both  want to put me in the middle.How the table turned and it was time to meet the boss himself Alhaji Adegbite and how we picked your convocation day as the perfect time to meet him.You just have to be in that shoe to understand the way I felt making every step towards him that day.Baby,we don try…

I remember  our love life during service year,how someone once told us he was ready to sponsor our wedding with his whole allawee like we wanted a small wedding(lol), That thought really mattered to us because it was of the sincerest form .I remember the good times that we had together and I’m thankful I was the one you had them with. I’m happy  with the way we handle our differences and rare occurences of misunderstanding(someone even asked if we dey fight at all).  I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you Ajoke Ade like my mother calls you.I’m trying to figure how  beautiful you are going look today especially since I am used to your natural beauty, the one that makes me fall in love all over again everytime I see you. 

Make I see as Marygee makeovers go transform my angel naa.  My dad has taught me how to love right with the way I have seen him love my mother .I am ready sweetheart.Loving you won’t be a difficult job to do since I am marrying the most special and wonderful lady ever liveth. I promise you my love,devotion and protection. I will love you with everything I have,I will be true in the face of all the gravest temptation(especially since the serekodes like you always call them won’t leave a tall  and handsome guy like me alone(lol)).I will protect you with all my strength.I am not perfect but I promise to be more than perfect for you.  I may not yet understand the challenges and difficulties that come with a lifetime commitment(Sure the Alfas and the chairman of the occasion will remind us of some of them) but growing up from the BUSARI’s family has taught me to know what is perfect for me and my unborn children because those around me are a continuous inspiration on how lovely our family should be.I am sure you’ve  always asked why you? The answer is simple,I saw my mum’s qualities in you because with that I am so sure I am safe, I also understand that no two people are the same , hence I appreciate your distinct qualities and i count myself blessed to have you.

I vow to do my best in the following;

•  Be the best husband and a role model to our children just like my dad is to myself,Omotayo and Omotolani. 
• To be a good company keeper,tell u new stories or retell d best ones f u insist.
• I promise to love your game and play dem well tho on the condition that you gonna leave that kwara united of yours and love Chelsea football club like I do.
• I promise to love your family like my own. I will listen to you especially wen u wanna be heard.
• I promise to do so much more Adedamola mi, if you let me.

I have  loads of things to say, and I would go on and on, but let me stop here and show you with my actions how much you mean to me, and how I won’t ever let you down. I beseech Allah’s mercy on us and I pray He keeps us in love together. I love you!

Sincerely:

Your husband ,Busari omobolaji.

 

Wipes tears*. Isn’t that beautiful? Happy married life Fam! We put some of  their pictures together too :d

When they decided to serve together and it worked!

The Proposal

The beautiful Ring!

Hayy Look at them!

Even the children were in awe, lol

We are happy people!

Oya Dab!

I’m sure he intimidated her to wear this. Lol, Chelsea Gang!

May Allah in his infinite mercy make these two remain in love forever and may his blessings never cease on them. Happy Happy Favored Married life!

I’ll be back. BOS

The Happiness Challenge Extra…

Hellloooooo!

Are you guys suffering Withdrawal symptoms already? Yes? I thought so.

I wore these dresses sometime ago and they feel too tight for me now, I already gave out the green one but the other ones are still available, I came across the picture and just thought to drop for you guys to see that my slay game goes way back. Loooool. Which look did I rock best?

Which look do you prefer here too?

Okay!

So, we have our winners and I’d like everyone to know that I tried to be as fair as I could be and I pushed Bias aside. The winners will be listed in no particular order

Leggoooo

Debs:  A cold shoulder Ankara top from Ray Couture

Eniola: A photoshoot of choice with Aljuan Photography

Fola : An abaya from Smilple Collections

Zaynab Uthman : A gift bag from Hijabs by Aeesha

Toyin :  A bead set from Mo_abah

Mansurah: A denim shirt from Harikson Needle

Shona: A gift bag from Credible

Adebimpe : A pair of shoes from SassyGlam

Vivian :One boubou from Ray Couture

Aramide: A makeover from Allure by Ewa

Shay: A Vintage shirt from Official Shona

Mz_Zeenah: Shift top from Ray Couture

Leemah: Boubou from Ray Coture

Ameerah : Pants from Harikson Needle

Desola : A skirt from House of Moh

Waliyullah : A design from Mr Jay couture

Cakes by Haleemah : A one week  Eye Brow training with Allure by Ewa

Forbes: A movie date with me

Mueyna : A Vintage Shirt from OfficialShona

Lilian: An Accessory set from Accessories only

Aminah : A Vintage shirt from Official shona

Ayodele: A movie date with Me

Damzeel : A Lipstick pack From AllurebyEwa

Haddie : A name doodle from Ufo_South

Sophia : Two sets of Bee Lashes

Hijabs by Aesha: Movie Date with me

I hope I was able to cover everything guys! Please hit me up so I’d connect you with the Vendors and  sort how your gift items will get to you. I look forward to the next Happiness challenge and I really can’t wait to start the Series I promised you.

I mean it when I say, I WILL BE BACK.

BOS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 30: The Happiness Challenge

I don’t even know what to say. The journey has been amazing!

I’m really in my feelings right now and you know how it is when you feel too deeply about something, words will elude you.

I still don’t know what to write.

Help me guys.

Thank you Aminah, for being a part of this challenge, I love you

Thanks Fola, You promised yourself you’d get through with this and you did.

Thank you Waliyullah, your comments are always well articulated and I look forward to them

Eniola my yummy mummy, I want to see you again, soon!

Thanks Aramide, my lost but found sister, counting down to that link up soon, In sha Allah

Hi  Debs, I am extremely glad we got acquainted.

Leeeeemah, wait, when are we having a collabo on either of the blogs? I adore you!

Thanks Mr Forbes, you are a big deal and you know.

Lilian my manager, thank you for stopping by.

Thanks Ayodele, for always.

Mansurah, thank you for being so consistent and for your beautiful heart, thank you.

Thanks Adebimpe mi, living with you is the coolest thing!

Thank you Shona, you are a beautiful and rare kind.

Thank you, Haddie, I love how you have carved a niche for yourself in decent fashion.

Thanks Toyin, I really cannot wait to meet you sometime, you rock.

Thank you Aishah, able member of the pretty gang, I cherish you a lot.

Oyesunkanmi my Best friend forever, thank you for then and now!

Ms_Zeenah, You are so beautiful, I cherish you

Ameerah, I love our chats and how you always bare it all to me, thank you for being a part of this challenge.

Vivian, I’m grateful to Halima for making you come across this, you are amazing.

Desola, I will always be glad we got to be roommates, I heart you

Hello Hijabs by Aishah my forever baby, you know Momma loves you.

Zaynab the poet, when are you writing me a poem? You are amazing.

Sophia, You know I admire you a lot,

Mueynah the ever pretty baby girl, I miss you and cherish you.

Sekinah (Damzeel), thanks for stumbling on the blog, I love your page!

Harleyma, Thank you for the love you always show

Cakes by Leemah, thank you for always coming through.

Sajbabs the wonderful photographer, I pray you higher grounds in your chosen career.

To all our vendors, May your businesses never stop booming and may you always have reasons to rejoice.

I’m not sure  I mentioned everybody, if I did not mention your name, I’m very sorry, I cherish you all so much and I’m glad you participated in this challenge.The bigger picture for this is that we are able to imbibe the habits we have picked over the last few days, put them in our every day lives and always move towards attaining happiness. I pray we all stay guided and guarded , I also pray that we always have things worthy of celebration to share with one another. We are a family now!

Today, I want us to reflect on the past days and the tasks that have been carried out. Tell me what you have learnt, tell me what habits you are holding on to, tell me if you were able to attain at least a certain level of happiness, tell me if this challenge helped you in any way and if you look forward to the next one. Let me know the lessons and tricks learnt!

Now to our winners, I know that you all have been waiting for this. I don’t even know how to go about picking the winners, sincerely.  I want to try to be fair, so i’d still stick to those who added comments frequently, those who never missed a day and always made sure they added something.

Since you are all far from me and we can’t have a physical ballot system, I’ll find a way to distribute the winnings and make it as fair as it can be. I’ll then announce the winners and their winnings tomorrow, by God’s grace.

See, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, you are a big deal and you mean a lot to people around you, let your light shine through and cut off all negative vibes. You are amazing, and I LOVE YOU!

I’ll be back. BOS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 29: The Happiness Challenge

I am in Ibadan now, I have a one week break which started yesterday  and I’ll be resuming next week Monday, In sha Allah. I could have stayed back in lagos because the duration of the leave is short but I had to come home to help my mum with preparation for my brother’s wedding. Oh I ddn’t tell you guys? My only brother is getting married this month and preparations are in full swing. My sister got married earlier this year so this is the second Wedding of the year, isn’t that wonderful? When I teased my mum about why we must have two weddings this year, guess what she said? ” We are clearing next year for you”. What a wow! Can my future husband hear that? The fam is waiting for you and they are ready!

My brother will be getting married to the love of his life and I’m so happy for two of them. If you stay with them for few minutes, you won’t but notice the glow in their eyes and the affection they both share. Love is beautiful, you can’t tell me nothing! You know, I used to have a boyfriend at the time they both started their relationship and we four used to have double couple trips where we would hang out and create memories, trust me , it was amazing. And it gives me joy that though my own story did not have the happy ever after ending, these two have held on strong and have decided to spend the rest of their lives together. Congrats guys!

My brother carried eyes to the market and chose well o, not only is his bride to be very intelligent, she is highly creative too and this is shown in how she makes awesome stuff with beads and the likes. She is my regular bead maker and she never disappoints. Look at what she did for my sister and I when my sister got married.

These are some of her other works too

Patronize our Iyawo o, check her Instagram account (@mo_abah) and place your orders. She is giving out a pretty set to one of our winners too, as the generous and adorable lady that she is.

Today, everyone will get a call from me and I mean it. I want to hear what my readers sound like and I want you to know I’m real  For you to understand that It isnt’t a robot that has been giving you tasks for the past days. That is the task I’m giving myself for my readers today . I want us to talk and laugh over the phone, I want us to make ourselves happy, I pity my call credit sha, because I have plenty International readers, lol I don’t mind. I could even do a video call with some who wouldn’t mind, just say it. Please send your numbers to me on any social medium you follow me on and make reference to the blog. You may also email it to me  via busaritolani@gmail.com

I’ll be back.  BOS

 

 

Day 28: The Happiness Challenge

I’ll be going to Ibadan today, In sha Allah. Pray for Journey mercies for me.

I can say that I am one of the people I know, who laughs the most and the hardest. I laugh at every thing, I mean that literally. I find humour in a lot of things and if you ever need someone to laugh with, I am game! I  don’t even know how to give a straight face in pictures, I have this signature smile /huge grin I always have plastered and It gives me great joy when people tell me they love it.. What’s the morale of this story my people? Learn to laugh more!

Some people are so uptight and it shows in their countenance all the time. It makes me wonder if  Life is really that hard and why we keep punishing ourselves over things we can’t control. I am not saying I don’t have moments when I don’t feel like laughing , but let’s try and be more at ease with ourselves. Please laugh a lot, you don’t own all the problems in the world, and please remember that there are a number of people who depend on your smile to be happy, Smile and Laugh for them!

Let me share some pictures where I laughed very hard or maybe I just feel like sharing my gallery with you guys.

 

Today, we are going to change a negative notion into a positive one. Whatever negative vibe we have will be consciously changed to a positive one. This is what I mean, if there is something that gives you a negative feeling, look at the other side of it and make it become positive. For instance, if you have been feeling low for not having money to buy Asun and Fried rice from the place, think about the fact that someone does not even have money to drink Garri and be thankful. If you feel like you couldn’t go on  that trip you planned to go this December, think of someone that wouldn’t mind having a roof over his head right now. If you have been thinking your life isn’t going as well as planned, think of the numerous people who would not mind being in your shoes right now, e.t.c. Remember guys, positive vibes only!

Don’t forget to laugh today, laugh a lot ..

I’ll be back Darlings. BOS

 

Day 27: The Happiness Challenge

I feel like sleeping in all day but I can’t. I have this meet up with some amazing people and I already gave them my word that I’ll be there. And you know promise is a debt, I have to go. My consolation is that I will be having meaningful conversation with intelligent people and I’ll be learning a lot.

I’d like us to be mushy again today.  Notice how I always want us to reach out to friends and loved ones? I have read too many stories and seen too many instances of people who are going through life with the thought that nobody cares about them and this might in turn lead to depression. No, we don’t want our loved ones to be depressed so we have to show them. So, today, we are going to let people know how much we care about them. Show love, appreciation and all the emosh you can muster to a friend, family or lover, tell them you care!

You could say it in few words, you could write an epistle, just make it explicitly known that you care and would always ride for them. This is different from when we told them everything will be alright or tried to encourage them, this time, we are being a bit more personal by letting them know that we care a great deal about them and they are appreciated.

My friends will be getting plenty emotional messages from me today because see ehn, I think I’m good at those. Not just because I want to weave words together and sound poetic, but also because I actually do care about my friends, I care about them a great deal.

To my readers, you all have become family to me over these past days and I want you to know that I care greatly about you. I care about your happiness, I care about the things that bring joy to your soul, I care about the wishes you have in your heart and I pray they come to pass, I care about those comments you drop day in and out, I care about the notifications I get on my phone showing that someone has liked a post I put up, I care about the fact that you appreciate me enough to stick by me from day 1 of this challenge to now, Day 27. I care so much about you, my darlings. I want to be there for you whenever you need me and I hope we always have sincere reasons to be happy.

I think  I can boldly say that I know some of the best Entrepreneurs in Nigeria and I don’t only know them, they are my friends too. I know some people might have heard of Love and Fashion or seen his works around, oh yes, I know who runs it and He is my friend! (errm my before before Sweetheart actually).  He has always been that lover of fashion and he sure pays attention to details with his designs.  Look at some designs from his collection, and oh yes, he is the model too!

I know you are waiting for me to say I have one of his designs and I won’t dissapoint you. He gifted me this very pretty shirt among other things.

He is giving a special design to one of our winners too. You may check him on Instagram (@loveandfashion01), Tell him you are from me, I’m sure he will do you well. Lol

I’ll be back. BOS